1. Recognizing that there are women who cherish the sentimental value of their engagement/wedding rings and those for whom the ring is simply that -- a ring, I think I fall into the latter camp. Don't get me wrong - I will always cherish the memories from the day we got engaged (almost 9 years ago) and the day we got married (almost 7 years ago). But I will always have those memories, and I don't need the ring to remind me of them. So to my dear, sweet husband, if you're reading this post, bigger is always better...approximately 2-3 carats bigger. Thank you:)

Posted at 10:25AM on Jul 2nd 2008 by Not so sentimental

2. I'm with your husband on this one. What happens in the future when you aren't the same person that you are today - because that's inevitably going to happen? Do you "upgrade" your ring again? And keep upgrading each time you "change?" I don't agree with the concept of changing rings like you change cars. A wedding ring is truly just a symbol, but it at least symbolizes what you'd hope is a time-tested marriage. Not saying that people shouldn't get rings/jewelry, but I think that people should keep the same wedding ring that they had when they got married. at least it means something as opposed to just trying to keep up with the Jones. Two thumbs up to your husband!!!!

Posted at 10:30AM on Jul 2nd 2008 by wileyheaven

3. I'm with you Marquette! There's nothing wrong with upgrading your engagement ring! I just celebrated my one year anniversary and am already planning the upgrade. I love my engagement ring and when it is time to upgrade, will use the stone in another piece of jewelry or setting. A fabulous way to keep the original stone and sentiment, while celebrating a milestone in the marriage.

Posted at 10:47AM on Jul 2nd 2008 by Just Married

4. We've been married 39 years. I'm still waiting for "The ring". I never had a diamond ring. Just a plain old gold band(that I paid for). He has had motorcycles, speedboats, wave runners, expensive sports cars and his excuse for not getting me a diamond ring is he can't afford it. I told him if he buys one more "toy" for himself I hope he can afford a good divorce attorney. I am so hurt about this. I have been so patient. I don't know what to do. Any suggestions out there????

Posted at 2:09PM on Jul 5th 2008 by windy woman

5. My wife and I just observed our 40th anniversary. About 15 years ago she "upgraded" the engagement ring that I gave her when I was a poor-but-honest assistant professor. By doing that she made it obvious that the ring was no longer about engagement -- it was only another piece of personal jewelry, supporting her personal image rather than our marriage. It still hurts when I notice the new ring.

Posted at 2:13PM on Jul 5th 2008 by Martin Jacobs

6. My husband upgraded mine to 2 1/2 carats, and i love him for it

Posted at 2:16PM on Jul 5th 2008 by harper57

7. For me, the ring IS the symbol of the sentiment and promise but that's me. I see nothing wrong with other women upgrading because I'm sure for most people the promise needs no symbol.
I've been married for 23 years and while my husband did a marvelous job picking out my ring we could quite easily afford something newer and larger but it just wouldn't mean the same thing to me. Now, we MAY have another ceremony for our 25th but if we get new rings they'll be for the right hands.

Posted at 2:19PM on Jul 5th 2008 by Lor

8. My wife also wanted to do this but from a practical standpoint as she stated she was advised by a jeweler that the ring was at risk of losing the diamonds due to wear and tear on the setting that held the diamonds. I concurred with her decision, but was very unhappy that she chose not to remount the original diamond or have it placed in a necklace. It now sits in an envelope in her jewelry box along side the emotions I held for her on our engagement day. Her upgrade was simply a reason to purchase a larger ring.

Posted at 2:26PM on Jul 5th 2008 by Been there

9. My original ring is tiny but nearly perfect. The stone means more to me than than its size. However, I had to have the diamond reset because the original setting did not hold up to years of wear. We were poor college students when we got engaged in the late 70's and he always promised me a larger stone. After 10 years of marriage we reset the original stone for security and durability. At our 25th anniversary, he gave me a beautiful, larger, three stone aniversary ring. I wear both rings every day. My original ring on my left hand to represent our original commitment and the anniversary band on my right to remind my of our past, present and future commitment and love. He has added new pieces to my jewlery collection over the years and many of them are diamonds (necklaces and earrings) but the original 18 point engagement ring means the most to me.

Posted at 2:29PM on Jul 5th 2008 by Gail

10. I totally agree with upgrading your engagement ring. My husband's mother told him a 1 ct. or larger diamond would be too big on my finger b/c i have small hands. So b/c of that I got a 1/2 ct. This was over 10 years ago and I do love my ring but would like an upgrade sometime in the near future.

Posted at 2:29PM on Jul 5th 2008 by ss

11. I agree with your husband. I think that you should keep your original engagement/wedding rings. I would only suggest upgrading your current ring if the color and clarity were poor. Otherwise, if you are starting with a quality stone there are always ways to enhance it. My husband bought me an additional diamond band to wear with my other rings and it makes them look so much bigger and brighter. Also, I am curently hinting around for the three stone anniversary ring for my left hand. Why upgrade when you can add more!?!?!

Posted at 2:32PM on Jul 5th 2008 by laney121

12. What about in seven or eight years, when the wife has 'upgraded' her wedding ring two or three times.....is it then OK for me to look for an upgrade, and perhaps find someone who feels that upgrading is not always acceptable.

Posted at 2:38PM on Jul 5th 2008 by Deacon

13. Are you people ok? Upgrade your ring? When are you going to upgrade your spouse? Americans are so deep in debt-their houses are in foreclosure, they are walking away from their homes and you are worried about STONE SIZE? If you or your hubby lose your jobs and you can't make ends meet, as long as you have a 3ct diamond, your life will be perfect, right??
Everyone is too fixated on celebrities' rings to have any sense anymore. Be grateful for what you have because someday you may wake up and have none of it. Your love does not grow because your hubby bought you a bigger ring; and to the young woman who just celebrated her 1st anniversary and is planning a bigger ring already: good luck.

Posted at 2:43PM on Jul 5th 2008 by awholelotsmarter

14. I went with a style just like what I got when we picked out my rings so it looks the same but MUCH bigger and brighter! I started out with 1/2 ct. 3 stone ring for engagement and a 1/2 ct. 5 stone for the wedding band but I traded UP UP UP to a 2 ct 3 stone Leo diamond and a 1 CT Leo 5 stone band and it looks great..... always get nice compliments on it and it suits me. I am not a flashy person but I really wanted some bling at least on my one hand! =) Hubby didn't mind as he knew I was worth every cent of it! =)

Posted at 2:48PM on Jul 5th 2008 by Kathi

15. As with many things in life; I believe it is "how" something is done... yes, it is your ring to do with as you wish but gifts of meaning deserve some respect or at the very least, the gift-giver. Your ring seems to be a "thing" to you but it doesn't seem the same for the giver (who you happen to see everyday). Do we need one of our most sacred traditions and the methods that are attached with it rationalize and altered to the point that this falls under the same controversy of "regifting" or "exchanges"? It is nice that you have involved your husband in this discussion (as my wife would and has) but agree to disagree and put the ring in a safe place and buy a different ring for the anniversary or one to alter on a whim. Let your ring be a "testament of time" and persevere "through good times and bad, sickness and health"...

Posted at 3:02PM on Jul 5th 2008 by Robb Ross

16. if you think its ok to upgrade the wedding ring then i suppose its still ok for the man to upgrade to a trophy wife

Posted at 3:04PM on Jul 5th 2008 by dave

17. Maybe I shouldn't be responding to this but in 1972, my fiance and I made our first joint decision as a new couple/as a partnership. The decision was what would represent our love and commitment.....she got the ring we picked. It was the max that I could afford and to me it was as beautiful as my wife. Eighteen years later, on her own she made the decision that her ring needed an upgrade...took off her initial ring and bought herself (without consulting me) a $36K ring that our bank account by then could afford but apparently the unilateral decision (the message) was something our relationship couldn't endure. She kept the first ring in your jewelry box. For the next 7 years she displayed the "rock"....just after our 25th anniversary we ran into a "rock pile" and were divorced. The divorce was not over the ring but I have always said that in hind sight, her (what I have always contended) selfish effort in getting the new ring was indicative of where the relationship had gone. We have two wonderful children from that marriage...and now two beautiful grandchildren. My ex and I occasionally socialize on holidays and the irony is that last Christmas she was wearing the ring we first picked out and not the "rock". I didn't ask her where the "rock" was and for the record, neither of us ever remarried.

Posted at 3:10PM on Jul 5th 2008 by Doug

18. To the person worrying about America's debt--um, not all of us are living on the edge of poverty. Some of us work hard, invest our money, save for a rainy day, and still have plenty left over to buy diamonds. Sorry if that bugs you.

As for upgrading, people of course should do whatever they please. I'm not sure how I feel, though. I don't like my ring style anymore (and I INSISTED on yellow gold 20 years ago--DOH!)and would like a bigger diamond (I have 1.25 carats now. But then you lose the sentimental value of the original ring. Hmmmm.

Posted at 3:11PM on Jul 5th 2008 by Alisha

19. I can't imagine anyone who puts more value on the size of their engagement ring than they do on the reason for the ring in the first place. If I were so fortunate to marry the man I love, which I cannot ... I would be happy with the tiniest chip on the plainest band and would cherish it and wear it to my grave.
I had a huge engagement ring for my first and only marriage. I had boxes of fabulous jewelry, I had trips and a summer home in another country. I had servants and a driver. And the marriage didn't last. For love of the heart, companionship, passion and sharing, I would wear a piece of string around my finger and cherish that.
Shame on all you selfish selfish women. I would give anything to be in your place and look at my bare hand and see a symbol of love there. But I can't.

Posted at 3:11PM on Jul 5th 2008 by nikki ty tomkins

20. How can you seriously debate this? If you need a bigger ring, why don't you buy a new one? A wedding ring is how you started off as a couple - why would you try to enhance the circumstances of your 'early years'? To me, all this sounds like the great idea of people selling diamonds and jewelry to get people go back to the store again and spend some additional money. Fine with me. But without tempting people to hurt their spouse's feelings, please.

Posted at 3:16PM on Jul 5th 2008 by old(world)fsahioned